This past weekend my best friend since 7th grade tied the knot. Weddings are always an adventure and as most people know they rarely go off without some kind of hitch. However, by the time Wedding Day rolled around I felt like we were living in opposite land where we were going to be lucky if a single thing went right.
I have no doubt I could write a 200 page book that included the events that took place Thursday until the wee hours of Sunday morning. I actually just might so that I can re-call all the crazy. I actually told one of the groomsmen that this was one of those weekends that you’ll be sitting on your front porch at 90 years old and still laughing about it or experiencing a case of the nerves from the post traumatic stress you still carry around. HAHAHA
I won’t document everything here (because like I said it would fill a large novel) but I can do a summary of events so that you all get a great picture
CEREMONY LOCATION: The LAKE that has reached record flood levels due to all the rain this summer. Original wedding ceremony sight was now under approx 10-20 feet of water (and that’s just a guess). New wedding sight was about 50 feet farther up the yard than the original and was right at the water line.
RECEPTION LOCATION: Was now moved to the park area, near the ceremony, due to said flood. The tent was about 7 hours late on Thursday and then to top it off the wrong size was delivered. Therefore, a whole day of set-up was wasted much to everyone’s dismay. Due to a massive wind storm Friday night portions of the (now right size) tent were blown over and touching the ground. The dance floor had to be disassembled and brought inside to dry, thanks to the storm, and did I mention this was the early morning hours of the wedding day. Ceremony chairs had also been blown over and to everyone’s surprise flowers and plants seemed to fair okay minus all the ones who had been eaten by deer earlier in the week. But that’s just a whole other story.
FRIDAY NIGHT: We had a delicious rehearsal dinner thanks to the Groom’s parents and then all hung out with friends and wedding party down at the Landing; which consists of shopping and eating on the waterfront. There was a big debacle over tables since a storm was coming and the hostess’ were fearing we might sue if we got struck by lightening. The heat was also unbearable even at 9:00 so we settled for an indoors table much to the hostess’ relief. We seemed to be having a bad habit of losing people everywhere we went. We asked for a table for 13 and when there was only 5 of us that ended up inside all wondering what in the world was happening. I still have no idea what happened to everyone since an hour later we had only gained 4 people. The other 4 literally disappeared.
HOTEL: We had a nice hotel that screamed “Good nights sleep” as opposed to “sketch island: proceed with caution.” Honestly, minus being a bit hot we had no complaints once we got back. I was the last one to shower since the other girls had showered earlier in the day and so we all turned in about midnight with wet hair and exhaustion clogging our brains. Funny thing happened when our heads hit the pillow — we couldn’t fall asleep. We were almost too tired to wind down as much as we tried. We all laid in the dark hoping sleep would come when all of a sudden I see the bride literally fly out of bed and head for the door. I had a quick moment of panic when I thought she might be pulling a runaway bride moment. Before, I had a plan thought up we hear “Oh my God what is that? Ummmm guys what is this?” The lights come on and the bride is standing in front of the bathroom with extremely fresh bug bites going from knee to foot in a rather straight line. She also had some more bites on her arms and other foot. After the foggy brains cleared and we regained our senses we all had the same thought slam into our noggins: BED BUGS!!! I don’t even know who said it first but as soon as the thought of bed bugs entered the process all hell broke loose. I don’t think we have ever moved or packed up so fast. Things were flying everywhere and stuffed into any bag that was close and it was all hauled out the door onto the balcony in hopes the extreme heat would kill anything that may have nested in our bags. After that bed sheets were instantly removed, the guys’ were called and reported to our room and the hunt for bugs was on. Picture 6 grown adults who have wild hair and in jammies crowding around a bed searching for translucent bed bugs at 12:45 in the morning. We finally found one and this thing was so microscopic we had to take shifts watching it in case the hotel needed proof. Long story short we got the rooms comped, hauled all of our things out to the parking lot where we had to wait for a new room in a different building, the boys stripped the new room down to it’s bare mattress checking for anything that might signal more bugs, I ran to Walmart for new clothes and hydrocortisone cream, and we all had to take new showers. My hair has never been washed twice in the span of 3 hours and boy it wasn’t happy. Talk about drying it out. We all finally got to sleep around 3 and woke up about 6:15 to rise and shine.
WEDDING DAY MORNING: After 3 hours of sleep, bed bugs and just pure exhaustion we all looked like the walking dead hauling our butts into breakfast. The guys were already there and looked like they had just left the spa while we all looked like we had been involved in a train accident. For real, how do men do that?? We arrived on sight at 8:40 and immediately started hair and makeup. There was a hoard of people outside with sweat dripping off their faces trying to get decorations up, lights strung, trash cleaned up and everything put together. The storm the night before had added more work that was already delayed at this point. Me and Lara (the other bridesmaid) ended up walking from house to house in our robes with hair done but no makeup on. I’m sure we looked like geisha prisoners escaping jail running from one place to the next. Thankfully, the hair held up and everything got done in a timely manner.
WEATHER: The sun was shining and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky which screams perfect wedding weather. If only this were true. The temps reached 108 at the hottest point and I’ve honestly never been so hot in all my life. The heat was absolutely unbearable and I can’t even believe there were no heat related illness or passing out. It was honestly a huge concern of mine. We tried to stay hydrated but in those temps even water doesn’t do much. The men were in full suits including vest and jackets and we were in dresses that had multiple layers in the skirt and weighed around 5 pounds a piece. Normally, it would have been fine but when you added the heat it was like wearing a coat to the Bahamas. This was our “we’re dying from heatstroke” face.
CEREMONY: The ceremony sight ended up being gorgeous and looked fantastic even with the rising waters and everything else. The bridesmaids were barefoot which is pretty nice (no killer heels) until we noticed goose poop right where the 3rd bridesmaid was to be standing. There was no avoiding that one but at that point goose poop was the least of the things we had been dealing with. We were directly under the sun so the sweating that started happening was the most intense thing Ive ever experienced. The groomsmen had all brought towels and were wiping their heads every 2 minutes, their pant legs were wet from the sweat accumulating on their legs and I was worried the officiant wasn’t going to make it due to the waterfall that was dripping from her face. Us girls weren’t doing much better since I was sweating in places I didn’t even know a human could sweat in. It was running all down my legs and I felt like I was under some sprinkler at the water park. I was doing all I could to not pass out and tell myself it was a cool 65 degrees. When we went to exit out of the ceremony I nearly tripped all over myself since my dress had now gotten 4 inches longer due to being wet and the bottom inside layer was wrapped around my ankles due to the wetness. I’m sure I looked like quite the sight hauling my bouquet in my partners face and trying to pick up the skirt of the dress. Ugh, the poor video is not going to look wonderful.
RECEPTION: The tent and decor was gorgeous but served more as a sauna then protection from the heat. I mean lets be real there wasn’t a cool spot to go, even inside the houses were hot. So most people ended up outside the tent standing around. The food was good, cake was beautiful and the toasts were incredibly sweet. The toughest sell was getting people to dance. I think normally it would have been good but the heat was really taking it out of everyone and the energy needed to move was difficult to summon let alone dance. Later when most of the guests had gone we changed out of our dresses back into t-shirts and shorts. I wish I could say they were cooler but at that point I had 35 layers of sweat stuck to my skin so nothing was going to help at that point. Bride and Groom left about 1:30 and the rest of us left about 2:15. I honestly can’t even believe we made it home alive since I have never been more exhausted in all of my life. I have had 3 newborns and have never felt this tired. I’m still recovering.
There were about 100 other things that happened and went wrong and while it all sounds negative I assure you it has done nothing but provide some serious giggle fits. I mean what else can you do but laugh. I thought about 2:00 Sunday morning I was going to combust and never stop laughing. I feel like we all bonded over the most crazy experience any of us have ever been a part of and we made a lot of good new friends a long the way. Most importantly Jordan and Chris got married and it really turned out more beautiful than anyone could have imagined with all the unforeseen events.
A massive thank you goes out to EVERYONE who pitched in and did things they never ever thought they’d be doing to pull this off. They all deserve major trophies for their contributions and willingness to just do whatever needed to be done. Seriously, they’re all amazing individuals.
Congrats to the happy couple and thanks for giving us a weekend we will NEVER EVER forget!!