So I seem to be playing catch up this year with my blog posts. It’s been an incredibly challenging, difficult yet surprising year full of many unexpected events. As soon as I sit down to blog about something important (or not so important) my cell rings, the laundry is signaling it’s completion, my husband has come for a kiss or one of my sweet little minions is begging me to play. I mean besides the laundry most of those things are impossible to resist so I must say my blog has suffered. However, I will try to give a quick update on what has been going on since we moved in July.
Our house is as amazing as ever. We have done more entertaining since moving here than we ever have in our whole 7 years of marriage. While we are somewhat reaching a “partied out” stage it has been very nice being able to host our own parties, see everyone and not have to worry about a long drive home at the end of the night. Plus with 2 young children it definitely helps being able to put in them in bed at their bedtime and remain on a routine. Aww the perks of having a bigger house. We just had a recent snow storm which allowed the kids to utilize our backyard hill for some winter activities. They were able to sled for about a week straight until the snow started to melt. I remember loving to sled as a kid and it seems like all the popular hills have all been converted to stores or parking lots these days. So it has been a blast having a hill for water fun in the summer and sledding fun in the winter.
In September I found out that we were expecting out 3rd child. It was a wonderful surprise after such a hard year. We had been trying for a 3rd baby for exactly one year and had just assumed it was no longer in the cards for us. We tried with our other two boys and were instantly pregnant so to take so long was unexpected. When we moved I finally parted with all of our baby furniture and accessories deciding that in a year of letting go it was time to part ways with this stuff. As luck would have it I am now pregnant and having nothing….but that just means I get to shop!! Woohoo! We are very excited about the new addition and will be finding out the gender on December 31st. Jared is convinced it’s another boy although he would like a girl. I have mixed feelings. Some days I’m 100% confident it’s a girl but then other days I feel it’s a boy. With a 50/50 chance it doesn’t really matter as long as they are healthy and happy. I would love to add a girl to the mix but life will give me what I am meant to have and I will love them just as much as I do my other two. So far I have been feeling great and have no complaints. I am very thankful for easy pregnancies. I have very fortunate.
On top of everything else I resigned from my job as a therapist about 4 weeks ago. Due to high stress I felt it was the right time to take a break from my profession. I was worried about miscarriage or the stress having lasting impact on the baby’s health and felt no career was worth it. While it was scary to quit and lose my income I am thankful every day I made that decision. I was unfulfilled, stressed and felt taken advantage of. I was becoming non complacent, whiney and irritable all the time. I knew no one wanted to be around me or spend more than 2 minutes with me for fear my negativity and depression would rub off on them. It was a vicious cycle I could not change and refused to live my life like that. I am not that person and I will not waste my life drowning in self pity and fatigue. I want to be an example of hard work and dedication to my children in our outside of the home but also teach them that if something is eating away at your soul and existence it’s okay to walk away and try something else. Life is too short to get caught up in the endless cycle. So for now I am at home helping my husband with our family business as well as taking care of all the every day family duties. It’s been great!!
We have reached the time of year I dreaded since Sally passed away. With all the birthdays and holidays and family events I knew this year was going to be difficult. However, as with everything me and Jared have been surprised at the strength of ourselves, our children and those around us. We just celebrated what would have been her 56th birthday last week and not one tear was shed. We can laugh and share memories and talk about her without feeling sad. I don’t know how we got to such a peaceful place so quickly but I am so glad we did. There is a difference in missing someone and sadness all the time. Being in this house surrounded by her things and her pictures we feel her presence everywhere. We always talk about how the only place we don’t feel her is at the cemetery. There is a peace in knowing someone is gone but still feeling like they are an integral part of our lives. It sounds silly sometimes to write it or type it out but that is truly how we feel and it has helped our grief in so many ways…especially through all the big events. I can’t believe in 3 months it will have been a year since she passed away. For the most part it feels like yesterday.
Other than that we are gearing up for Christmas and for Santa to come visit. The boys are very excited as usual. Logan will start Christmas Break tomorrow which means a little more sleeping in for all of us. That’s always a plus!! Yay for school breaks.
Hope you all are well and are having Happy Holidays!!!