Time is an inevitable part of our lives that can not be ignored. Our world depends on time. Each day millions of clocks around the world are watched slowly as the time ticks by. The earth turns because of time, change happens because of time, and some day we will take our last breath and run out of time.
Time can be a blessing or a curse depending on the situation or the event. Most of us think time is a curse when we have a long day at work that will never end or when we are stuck in traffic and wish we could just fast forward. On the flip side, time can be the best thing we have. We have time to watch our children grow up. Time to savor their sweet baby smell, their little fingers curled in our hand, their sweet breathing sounds as we rock them to sleep. We savor time when we get to spend time with our loved ones, family and friends. Unfortunately….. time has to end.
I view time as magic. It’s just as beautiful and powerful yet comes with a price. Magic and miracles often come with a price and the same can be said for time. Unlike magic and miracles, where we don’t know the price, time is very upfront with the cost. Time promises that it will end. We can have it but it will ALWAYS end and we have no idea when. Our kids’ birthday parties end, our holidays end, our work days end, our relationships end, and eventually our lives end. We don’t know when these things will take place we just try to savor the moment while it is happening. We can’t get time back. Every minute that ticks by is another minute gone that we will never get back. We spend so much time complaining about not having “enough time” yet we have just wasted so much of it.
When you know that life is ending soon is life a blessing or a curse? For me that is still to be determined. I am so thankful to have time to say goodbye and give a hug. Watching time tick away brings unbearable pain and grief. Watching precious seconds tick by knowing the end is near is like falling off a cliff waiting for the rush of the cold water to wash over my body. Suspending in the air all I can think about is if the water will consume me or I’ll be able to fight my way to the top. As I feel the wind sear by my ears and cascade over my hair I think about moments that time has given me. I can feel tiny drops of precipitation as I get closer to the end. I can see each moment that I have been given. Moments spent in quiet, moments spent in tears, moments spent holding hands, and moments saying “I love you.” Those are the moments that hold so dear to my heart. Those are the memories that will help me fight my way through the water back to the top. Each day the wind is stronger, the precipitation bigger and the inevitable closer. I can feel it in the depths of my soul. I will not let the water consume me. I will not let my tears of grief take me to the bottom of the sea. I will kick and fight and remember the smiles, the laughter and those moments that time gave to me.
Sometimes in this life, time is robbed from us. But sometimes the thief lets us say goodbye before it takes our most prized possession. We all must pay the price some day. We just hope we have enough moments to soften the sharp sting of the water.