Okay so here is my secret to success when it comes to balancing 2 businesses, 4 kids, a husband, a house and everything else life throws our way.
Ready for it?!
The secret is…
I realized a long time ago that there is no such thing as balance. As a matter of fact I’d like to send a glitter bomb to whoever it was that came up with this idea that we should “have it all” “do it all” and that we should strive to “balance everything in life” all while dressing perfectly, looking perfectly and wearing 6″ stilettos. They totally deserve to be covered in sticky glitter cause that is ridiculous.
However, it took me A LONG time to realize just how insane this notion even is. Like most women in the world I fell for this idea that we were supposed to find balance and that everything was supposed to fall into place and look easy. I thought after I had my first kid I would just naturally find the balance…then I had a second and still waited for everything to fall into place. Then I had a third kid and realized that I had been chasing this illustrious balance fairy and never could seem to find her. It was like playing the world’s worst game of hide and go seek, except I was always seeking.
It was exhausting and I was over it.
Once our business took off balance became so impossible to find that I gave up on it all together and that’s when something amazing happened. I first felt like I was the biggest failure on earth because I knew that some things were not going to get my 100% attention. I thought I was gonna die the only woman on earth who just gave up on “having it all.” Like my headstone would be marked failure for all future generations to see. However, this wasn’t the case. What happened took me by complete surprise.
So what happened?
The world didn’t explode, my house didn’t burn down, my kids didn’t develop emotional issues or suffer from neglect, my business didn’t fail, I didn’t gain 900 pounds, my finances didn’t suffer and none of the horrible things that I was told would happen, happened. Instead everything was better. When I was working I was giving 100% to work because I wasn’t worried about the fact that I wasn’t playing with my kids, or my furniture was collecting dust, or the dishes were piling in the sink. Nope I just focused on work and busted it out faster than I was doing before. Then when I played with my kids, I didn’t worry about work or laundry or how long it was going to take me to get the playdoh off the floor – we just play. I started just focusing on what I was doing – as much as you can focus with 4 little kids – and stopped making myself feel guilty and stopped worrying about my next task on my never ending list. I just crossed them off as I could and then moved on.
This is when I realized that we don’t need BALANCE we need FOCUS. Focus is what we all lack. We are constantly plugged in to 12 different devices that are all going off at the same time, then we have kids screaming and yelling, someone is always hungry or thirsty or fighting, we’ve got appointments we need to get to, errands to run, meals to cook and the list is endless. Trust me it’s hard to focus but you’d be surprised at how much time we spend stressing about all the balance we aren’t having during the tasks we are supposed to be giving our full attention to. It’s such a dumb vicious cycle.
So instead of worrying about how you can “have it all” realize you don’t “NEED IT ALL” and move on. Start focusing on the tasks that need to get done and just do what you can, when you can. Your kids can entertain themselves, trust me it’s good for them. The dishes can sit in the sink overnight – I know, the horror! The e-mails can wait 2 hours before you respond, the laundry can sit in a basket for one night. It’s OKAY!! I’m not judging and every other person on earth is going through the same thing. The only people who are judging are people who definitely don’t have anything together in their lives and they’re so miserable they’re projecting that on you, so who cares.
You only get one life and chasing all this crap is seriously such a buzz kill. The only thing you need to balance is your hormones and your diet – everything else is just an illusion.
So cut yourself some slack, breathe and show the world that you don’t NEED it all to BE it all. You’re amazing, today and every day and the sooner you realize that – the better!