Height/Weight: 10 pounds!! He is an absolute chunk. Can’t believe he gained over a pound in one week. Insanity!!
Routine: I wish I could say we are in an amazing routine but I can’t. Honestly, feeding is still such an issue that is has been nearly impossible to get into any kind of routine or schedule. We wake up every day and have no idea when he will be eating, when we will be waking or napping or anything else. I know this is certainly normal with a 3 week old but since we have always thrived on routine this is kind of a whole new world for us. I was on a great schedule with both the other boys by the time they were 1-2 weeks old….so I’m trying to be patient this time around.
Sleeping: We are getting a little more consistent at getting up every 1 1/2-2 hourS, however, some nights are worse than others. He is still sleeping tons during the day but is definitely getting attached to being held. He does not want to be put down and loves to snuggle. This kid thrives on skin to skin contact and could possibly be more of a snuggler than Mason, which I didn’t think was possible. Haha. He has been sleeping in his crib in his room at night which made me nervous since he is still so little. However, it’s going great and he seems to like it much better than his bassinet.
Eating/Feeding: Feeding is a nightmare. I had to stop exclusively pumping because after a few days my milk was definitely drying up even though I was religiously on the pump every 2 hours…which was EXHAUSTING! So I put him back on the breast and have had some success at night but he continues to fall asleep so easily that it’s impossible to wake him up to eat. Breastfeeding can literally last 2 hours before he is full. This is obviously not feasible and it’s really starting to wear on me. Because of this he is getting WAY more formula than I wanted him too. It seems like we are now at 75% formula and 25% breast milk which is not at all what I had hoped for. Mommy guilt is rearing it’s ugly head and due to sleep deprivation it is making me want to cry most days. Even pumping at this point is yielding literally drops of milk as opposed to ounces. I honestly feel like we have tried EVERYTHING to fix the issue but it’s just not working. I bought some brewers yeast, since the fenugreek messed up my stomach, so I will give that a last ditch effort and if it doesn’t increase my milk enough to pump some decent ounces (or cause him to be full on the breast)…then we are just going to have to do formula exclusively.
Sizes: He is in size 1 diapers which he goes through at a rapid pace. Ha. He can still wear NB clothes but they are definitely getting a bit tight. With as much as he eats he will likely outgrow them within a week or two. Otherwise, he is comfortable fitting into 0-3 month clothes.
Milestones: He is starting to grab onto things ….especially my hair and reaches out for toys or objects in front of him. He is still unable to be out in direct sun but he LOVES being outside in the fresh air and warmth. Every time he is fussy I take him outside and he falls asleep within about 1 minute flat. He is smiling more and loves to look around at his surroundings before he gets bored and dozes off.
Favorite Moment: We have gotten a couple of naps in this week and snuggling with him is definitely the highlight of my day. Due to housework, our business, and the other kids I usually have to put him down (if he allows it) while he sleeps, so it’s nice to have some snuggle time every once in a while.
Physically, I’m feeling much better. Pelvic, hip and back pain has nearly disappeared and I’m able to run up the stairs for the first time in months. Hooray!! Mentally, I’m exhausted. The no sleep is definitely contributing to that fact but the feeding issues is really wearing on me. I’m pretty sure I had a near mental breakdown on Wednesday. Everything was going wrong and by noon I was already feeling completely defeated with the day. I made some iced coffee that ended up being too watered down and nearly burst into tears in the kitchen. If my husband hadn’t come up I would have been a melted puddle on the kitchen floor. The guilt over not being able to give Gavin the best nutrition is wearing on me and I have been unable to work very much (due to lack of routine) so Jared has had to do double the work on our business. Every morning I wake up to housework I wasn’t able to get done the day before and I can’t seem to find the time to even shower. None of the clothes in my closet fit and trying to make myself look any sorts of presentable is a lost cause. Sigh….I know these are normal feelings and emotions for most women with newborns and I’m likely being very hard on myself but I’m hoping they ease soon. I know as a mom I am doing the very best I can but sometimes it’s hard to not feel like a failure. My goal for this week is to attempt to keep my head up and take things as they come. We have another very busy weekend so I’m going to get through that, without any breakdowns, and try not to let all those negative feelings completely impact my days. I try to remember that I am the mother of three amazing and healthy little boys…so really….who cares about dirty dishes and laundry. 🙂