Guess what guys?? I’ve been married for 10 whole years! Crazy huh?! It’s pretty crazy how fast 10 years goes by but we have been just a little busy creating a life for ourselves, raising children, and just trying to catch up on sleep. Which begs the question…does a human actually ever catch up on sleep? I think not.
Technically, this was the year we were supposed to finally have our “wedding.” For anyone who doesn’t know we eloped, didn’t tell a single person we were getting married, and spent a night out of town before returning to work the next morning. We wore jeans and nice shirts and had two witnesses from New York who were vacationing at the time who still have the only pictures of the big day. They were pretty elderly so I’m sure they have been thrown out at this point or lost. All I know is we never saw them. Haha. We could barely hear our vows due to the cemetery next door being mowed and to this day I’m still not quite sure exactly what I promised I would do or not do but it’s worked for us so far. Oh and did I mention it was April Fools Day?!? Yes, getting married in this way was very much our choice and we would do it all over the exact same way times 100. Anyways, that brings me back to our wedding/reception that was planned for this year but we decided to have a baby instead soooo clearly no waddling down aisles for me. Honestly, at this point in our lives I really don’t desire to have any big or even small shindig and we will probably take the kids on a tropical vacation and just renew our vows there at some point. The whole point of doing it is for them anyways so might as well do it in the sand on a beach.
Okay, so back to the whole ten years thing. I think most people are shocked at the fact I have been married for 1 year let alone 10. I got married young, everyone thought I had lost my mind and was not afraid to tell me just that. Everyone said I would regret it and was making a horrid mistake and that I wouldn’t last a year. Well I am happy to report that I knew EXACTLY what I was doing and am very thankful I didn’t listen to a single individual. I realize they all had their concerns and were concerned but I’m still very glad I didn’t listen. I got married because I wanted to not for any other reason or any other person and for that I’m incredibly thankful.
People often ask what the secret to a lasting marriage is and I’m not sure there really is a secret. There isn’t some vault that only a few of us are lucky to enter and see the step by step guide to marriage. It’s work like everything else in life. Not horrid, back breaking, stress inducing work like some jobs but it’s work in that it takes effort. If you are about to get married or thinking about it let me say this one thing, “If you are not willing to put effort into your marriage EVERY SINGLE DAY then you might as well not get married.” I don’t care how much you love someone you have to put effort in that person, otherwise, you’ll never come out on top. For me and Jared, marriage has always been our number one priority. I’ve said it 100 times how our relationship always comes before our kids and other things. Has it had to be put on the back burner at times? Yes. But it doesn’t remain there long and that doesn’t mean it drops down on our list – we just figure out how to nurture it in a different way at that moment.
Are we perfect? No, not even close. Do we have disagreements and arguments? Yes, but not often. We went about 6 years without a single fight and that is literally no lie. Look, life gets stressful and some unexpected challenges have been thrown our way the past 3 years so an argument here and there is bound to happen. However, at the end of the day we always focus on the fact that we are a team. It’s 50/50 and if we have wandered onto 2 different pages than we take the time to get back in the same book and start over. We are very plugged in to what is going on because we know how easily we can get off course if we let it. Marriage is tricky, especially with kids, and you can literally lose your spouse and your relationship so fast if you aren’t careful. Time flies by and you won’t even realize that you’ve been stewing over the same thing for months until 4 months has passed and by then it’s done a lot of harm to your relationship. Stay connected and in tune with what is happening always so you don’t let things go and fester. It’s not healthy and it’s much harder to fix once you’ve let it get to that point.
Besides my children, I am most proud of my marriage. We have defied every odd given to us at the beginning and have continued to defy them all throughout our marriage. We have literally accomplished EVERY SINGLE goal we have had for ourselves up to this point. Very few people can say that. We have been knocked down more times than I can even count but have always pulled each other up and continued on. Has it always been easy? No, not at all. But love and determination can get you through a lot of tough times and deliver you a lot of great things and that’s exactly what we have done.
I hope everyone in life gets to experience a love like we have. I hope you have a spouse that you not only love but also like….and yes there is a difference. I hope you always miss each other when you’re not in the same room, talk kindly of them when they aren’t there and soak up every moment you have with them in case someday they aren’t there anymore. Don’t take each other for granted and never forget the reason you married them in the first place. We are all still those two lovebirds saying vows we can’t hear over the noise of lawn mowers. So don’t forget that.
Do fairy tales come true? Well not in the pumpkin carriage/glass slipper kind of way but the point of most fairy tales is that they lived happily ever after…..and if I get to be living proof….then yes, my darlings, fairy tales do come true.
Happy Anniversary to the one who has filled my soul with so much more than I ever though possible. I love you, forever!